2026 Summer Bible Retreat (1), Unless You Bless Me, I Will Not Let You Go
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2026-08-23 14:24
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Unless You Bless Me, I Will Not Let You Go
Genesis 32
Jacob is like an enormous fish in the ocean. He had lived a free, liberal life with human ambition. God had endured with him for a long time. God has patiently waited for him to stop such life. But when Jacob continued to keep such life, God finally intervened in his life. God knew that Jacob should be changed. So God did some very special things.
First, Jacob was left alone.
20 years ago, Jacob left home with empty hand. But now he was returning to his old home in glory. He was happy and proud. However, he had a problem, his brother. Esau. He had completely forgotten it for the last 20 years. But when he was going back to his hometown, fear of Esau began to grip him. He deceived Esau twice and stole the birthright and the blessing of God. He remembered Esau’s burning resentment toword him. Esau tried to kill him.
So Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to Esau, saying, “Dear brother, I am coming back. We are brothers, isn’t it?” But he heard shocking news that Esau was coming to him with 400 people. He interpreted it as a war against him. He was seized by great fear and distress. He quickly divided the people and the flocks into two groups and thought, “If Esau attacks one group, the group that is left may escape.” But his plan did not give him peace. So he prayed to God. “Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau.” Still he was restless. Then he tried to protect himself by his own devices.
He began to send many gifts to Esau. He wanted to pacify his brother. He did whatever he could do. However, his fear did not disappear. He could not sleep at night. Then he got up and sent all his wives, maidservants, eleven sons and all of his possessions across the stream. He did not cross the river because, at the worst case, he would run away. This is Jacob. He abandoned even his wives and children, his people and all his flocks. But he grasped his life firmly.
Now Jacob was left alone. Humanly he was such an irresponsible and selfish guy. However, spiritually it was the best moment for God to come to Jacob. It was also the best moment for Jacob to meet God very personally. Indeed it was a precious moment for Jacob to find who he was before God.
Man has a nature to hide in the crowd or material. The crowd is like a mask. Man does not like to reveal his real ego by mingling in the crowd. For example, people do not like to attend a small church. Instead, they want to attend a big or mega church. Why? It is because they do not need to reveal themselves when they are in a big church. The crowd is like a nice and comfortable shelter that does not demand any personal life issue, responsibility or commitment. So, modern people are weak to be left alone. Probably Jacob was one of them. He could not endure to be left alone. He always needed a work, family, honor and a sense of achievement.
To be left alone is never easy. No! So, at home, while they are alone, they turn on TV or spending time surfing internet. Young people always put on earphone and listen to music. They do not like to be left alone. This is never easy.
Now, the truth is this; man cannot be changed if they do not confront themselves. When they meet themselves from the deepest side, they can come to know who they are and experience change. When were you left alone? When did you meet yourself? Is your real self peaceful? If any of you hesitate to answer, you are a Jacob-kind person. On the other hand, if you answer, “No, I am not well. I wander,” you are the person who has a hope for change. But that is very hard confession we can do.
A word, ‘integrity’ comes from a word, ‘mask.’ Clowns change the masks according to the roles given to them. Honestly speaking, we all are like a clown. We perform a play wearing different masks. And we become tired moment by moment. At that time, some confess sincerely, “How long should I live like this? I want to find myself. I want to find my true self.” This is aspiration for change. So being left alone is important. We need to confront ourselves though it is not easy.
Jesus often found a solitude place. No matter how busy he was, he always went to a solitude place. There, he looked up God, communicated with him through prayer and looked at himself. This is the origin of ‘quiet time.’
We need to be left alone. We need a moment to look at our inside and reveal our pain, wounds and despair before God. This is the beginning of a new start. That is why God let Jacob be left alone.
Secondly, Jacob knew his limit.
Jacob lived a success or achievement oriented life. For success and achievement, he did not mind means. Even though he had a godly value, he had no ethic or morality. This is not God’s teaching. Jacob took all he wanted from his brother, father, uncle and anyone else. He lived a smelly and ragged life. He was a man of desire but shameful desire. His success-oriented life style without morality and ethic seemed to be paid off but brought misfortune on himself.
Jacob was overly confident with a success or achievement oriented life style. If his strong ego or self is not broken, he cannot experience change. He cannot receive the blessing of God. He cannot be used by God for his good purpose. What did God do?
Look at verse 24b. “A man wrestled with him till daybreak.” At that dark night, someone came and grabbed Jacob’s throat and said, “Hey, cross the river! Cross the river! How could you abandon your wives and children, your servants and your flocks? How could you intend to save only yourself? Live with them and die with them. Go, go, cross the river!” But Jacob resisted, “No, I can’t. I don’t want to die.” “Go.” “I can’t” They fought against each other. The man hit Jacob’s right side. Instinctively, Jacob dodged the blow. Then the man pushed him. But Jacob resisted him. Jacob fought him with a life and death struggle until daybreak. The man thought, “Wow! This fellow is really strong.” He thought that he would easily win over Jacob. But Jacob had never been defeated. When the man saw that he could not overpower Jacob, he hit Jacob on a fatal spot, the socket of his hip. Jacob could not sustain his body any more but was knocked down, screaming, “Aigo!” Jacob became crippled. If we do not obey God, if we continue to insist our own life styles, there will be the moment God hits the socket of our hip, the hip of family, the hip of money, the hip of health and the hip of career.
There was a fire on a farmer’s house. The farmer quickly went to the stable and tried to draw the ox out but it resisted because of fear of fire. The farmer knew what to do. He quickly overturned the manger of ox. When the ox saw it, it followed the farmer without resistance. The ox must have thought, “Oh my goodness, the manger is overturned, then this is not my home.” In a sense, man is like an ox. God says, “come and follow me!” But we resist it and insist our own way. Out of love and grace God hits his people with failure, disease or financial difficulty. Then they finally surrender and come back to God. This is sad reality. We humans are such stubborn.
Look at verse 29. Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.” Did the man say his name? No. He said, “Why do you ask my name?” What does it mean? “You know my name, then why are you asking it?”
Surely Jacob knew God. From his birth, he learned about God and His work from his mother. He learned about the godly life. He experienced God through a vision of stairway in Bethel. He experienced God’s hand during 20 years’ life in Paddan Aram. He knew God. But he had lived like he did not know God. He did not build an altar to God. He did not pray to God. He did not act like a believer. As he lived such a life, he must have had some kind of fear, “One day, I would be hit critically by God. One day, there would be punishment.” And at the Jabbok River, the day when he was hit in the vitals and knocked down, a word burst out from his mouth, “Oh my goodness, I am done.” This is very critical moment. His strong ego, ambition, success-oriented life style was thoroughly smashed. But this was a process for him to find his true self.
Third, Jacob trusted in God.
Jacob did not remain in despair. He moved forward. To where or whom? To God. We should realize that we need God, the Creator. ‘I,’ ‘my material, strong ego, plan, habit, life style’ are not the object of trust. Instead, we should trust in God. After Jacob was knocked down, what did he do? Look at verse 26. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me?” According to Hosea 12:4, Jacob wept and begged for blessing. Why did he ask God’s blessing when he had already received all the blessings? So far he had pursued honor, love and money. He had won all of them and he should have been happy. But possessions do not solve man’s fundamental problems, such as the problems of inner sin or death or fear, anxiety or emptiness. Jacob came to realize finally. His attention shifted from possessions to inward things. His prayer was a tearful request for the Lord’s mercy and grace. He asked God for another kind of blessing that is forgiveness, salvation and peace of soul.
Do you know that we need God’s blessing, not worldly blessing? Worldly blessing is like wind that can disappear any time. Worldly blessing cannot save man from the power of sin, death and eternal judgment. Jacob did not know it. So he just worked hard to obtain worldly blessing; honor, love and wealth. God came to him at that night and struggled with him to realize it and repent his wrong life goal. In fact, Jacob wasted the precious time given to him. He only used his time for himself at his home. In the foreign land, he worked hard to gain woman’s love and money. Look at his life. What did he do? He seemed to gain a lot but only lived a mundane life without God’s purpose and mission. This is his sin. Outwardly Jacob’s problem seemed his brother, Esau. But his real problem was his sin. But he had not repented his sin; sin of deceiving life, selfish life and missionless life. But at that night, God came to him and struggled with him. Finally, Jacob realized that he needed the blessing of God and that was salvation and peace in his soul.
Then God challenged him, “What is your name?” By asking his name God was helping Jacob to find who he was before God. He was helping him to find his true identity.
Jacob answered, “Jacob.” Jacob means ‘grasping,’ or ‘lying.’ He had struggled to grasp honor, romance and wealth. For this, he never hesitated to deceive others. In the course of doing this he hurt many people. Jacob realized that he was a terrible sinner before God and confessed, “Jacob.”
What is your name? “Lord, my name is selfishness, jealousy, lust.” God does not condemn us. Instead, he changes us. Then God said, “You name will no longer be Jacob but Israel.” Israel means ‘he struggles with God’ or ‘God rules.’ You have struggled with others to obtain success. You have won. But from now on, you are Israel. You must lose.
Life is a war or battle. Everyone wants to win. However, when you lose, you win. When you are defeated by God, you win. When your strong ego, false ego, human-centered ego and missionless ego are smashed, you win and receive the blessing of God. If you win over God, you will remain as Jacob. When you lose, you will become Israel. If you surrender to God’s will, you will become Israel and God will bless you as a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. When Jacob was lost, he experienced change.
God wants to change us. We struggle daily, sometimes with big one and sometimes with small one. I do not like go to church, but God says, ‘Go!” I struggle, “Should I go or not?” God says, “Give an offering and tithe.” But I struggle, “Should I offer a tithe or not?” God says, “Go to Friday prayer meeting.” Then I struggle, “Should I go or not?” God says, “Go out and do fishing and preach the gospel.” But I struggle, “Should I go out or not?” We struggle daily. But, you must lose in your struggle. If you win over God, you will lose everything and eternal reward. On the other hand, if you lose, you will gain the blessing of God and eternal reward. Surrender to God. Then God will change you from Jacob to Israel.
Verse 31 says, “The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel. And he was limping because of his hip.” The sun rose above his life. He had been in deep fear, distress and darkness. He had been in deep fear, guilt and anxiety for the last 20 years. Now he became disabled. He could not run away anymore. However, he became to entrust his whole life to the hand of God. He trusted in God. Then the sun rose above him. He was full of light-peace, joy and comfort. Then he crossed the river. He decided to be with his family, his people and his flocks though he might lose his life by Esau. He became caring and responsible. He experienced change. He wholeheartedly relied on God and moved forward by faith. Then what happened? We are not sure Esau’s intension but we know his character. He was a skillful hunter with animal like nature. We could guess that he would have intended to revenge him. But he saw Jacob limping with unkempt hairs and ripped clothes. I guess he must have been sympathized with him. Look at verse 4. When Jacob was changed, Esau was changed, too. Instead of revenging Jacob, Esau accepted Jacob with brotherly love. His revengeful heart might have been melted like snow. 20 years’ grudge was melted like snow. This is the work of God. When Jacob was changed from Jacob to Israel, his hostile brother was also changed. When Jacob was changed, God used him to change Esau, an ungodly man.
Man cannot change others. Man cannot change himself or herself. But if I am changed, God blesses me and uses me for his eternal purpose that is saving souls.
Everyone has their Jabbok River. We become alone, lonely, fearful, distressed and sad. Your current school study or future job security can be your Jabbok River. Your health condition can be. Your marriage can be. Your financial problem can be. You sinful habit can be. Now you should cross the River. However, you must know that you must first be broken by God. It is God who can make you cross the River. You must first be changed from Jacob to Israel. Then the sun will rise above you.
Don’t try to win over God. Don’t try to persuade God. You and I are just his creatures. He gave us life, time, talents and material. He gave us life purpose and mission. Now we are to follow his will for his glory. If we resist God’s will and insist our own will, we will live as Jacob, a liar and we will suffer until we leave this world. When we were born, we were all Jacobs. We make plan for ourselves. We put a mask and deceive others for our own benefit. But we suffer. But some experience change and become Israel as they surrender to God. However, some remain as Jacob and cannot overcome fear, worry and anxiety. I pray for you and myself that we may surrender to God and become Israel.
Genesis 32
Jacob is like an enormous fish in the ocean. He had lived a free, liberal life with human ambition. God had endured with him for a long time. God has patiently waited for him to stop such life. But when Jacob continued to keep such life, God finally intervened in his life. God knew that Jacob should be changed. So God did some very special things.
First, Jacob was left alone.
20 years ago, Jacob left home with empty hand. But now he was returning to his old home in glory. He was happy and proud. However, he had a problem, his brother. Esau. He had completely forgotten it for the last 20 years. But when he was going back to his hometown, fear of Esau began to grip him. He deceived Esau twice and stole the birthright and the blessing of God. He remembered Esau’s burning resentment toword him. Esau tried to kill him.
So Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to Esau, saying, “Dear brother, I am coming back. We are brothers, isn’t it?” But he heard shocking news that Esau was coming to him with 400 people. He interpreted it as a war against him. He was seized by great fear and distress. He quickly divided the people and the flocks into two groups and thought, “If Esau attacks one group, the group that is left may escape.” But his plan did not give him peace. So he prayed to God. “Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau.” Still he was restless. Then he tried to protect himself by his own devices.
He began to send many gifts to Esau. He wanted to pacify his brother. He did whatever he could do. However, his fear did not disappear. He could not sleep at night. Then he got up and sent all his wives, maidservants, eleven sons and all of his possessions across the stream. He did not cross the river because, at the worst case, he would run away. This is Jacob. He abandoned even his wives and children, his people and all his flocks. But he grasped his life firmly.
Now Jacob was left alone. Humanly he was such an irresponsible and selfish guy. However, spiritually it was the best moment for God to come to Jacob. It was also the best moment for Jacob to meet God very personally. Indeed it was a precious moment for Jacob to find who he was before God.
Man has a nature to hide in the crowd or material. The crowd is like a mask. Man does not like to reveal his real ego by mingling in the crowd. For example, people do not like to attend a small church. Instead, they want to attend a big or mega church. Why? It is because they do not need to reveal themselves when they are in a big church. The crowd is like a nice and comfortable shelter that does not demand any personal life issue, responsibility or commitment. So, modern people are weak to be left alone. Probably Jacob was one of them. He could not endure to be left alone. He always needed a work, family, honor and a sense of achievement.
To be left alone is never easy. No! So, at home, while they are alone, they turn on TV or spending time surfing internet. Young people always put on earphone and listen to music. They do not like to be left alone. This is never easy.
Now, the truth is this; man cannot be changed if they do not confront themselves. When they meet themselves from the deepest side, they can come to know who they are and experience change. When were you left alone? When did you meet yourself? Is your real self peaceful? If any of you hesitate to answer, you are a Jacob-kind person. On the other hand, if you answer, “No, I am not well. I wander,” you are the person who has a hope for change. But that is very hard confession we can do.
A word, ‘integrity’ comes from a word, ‘mask.’ Clowns change the masks according to the roles given to them. Honestly speaking, we all are like a clown. We perform a play wearing different masks. And we become tired moment by moment. At that time, some confess sincerely, “How long should I live like this? I want to find myself. I want to find my true self.” This is aspiration for change. So being left alone is important. We need to confront ourselves though it is not easy.
Jesus often found a solitude place. No matter how busy he was, he always went to a solitude place. There, he looked up God, communicated with him through prayer and looked at himself. This is the origin of ‘quiet time.’
We need to be left alone. We need a moment to look at our inside and reveal our pain, wounds and despair before God. This is the beginning of a new start. That is why God let Jacob be left alone.
Secondly, Jacob knew his limit.
Jacob lived a success or achievement oriented life. For success and achievement, he did not mind means. Even though he had a godly value, he had no ethic or morality. This is not God’s teaching. Jacob took all he wanted from his brother, father, uncle and anyone else. He lived a smelly and ragged life. He was a man of desire but shameful desire. His success-oriented life style without morality and ethic seemed to be paid off but brought misfortune on himself.
Jacob was overly confident with a success or achievement oriented life style. If his strong ego or self is not broken, he cannot experience change. He cannot receive the blessing of God. He cannot be used by God for his good purpose. What did God do?
Look at verse 24b. “A man wrestled with him till daybreak.” At that dark night, someone came and grabbed Jacob’s throat and said, “Hey, cross the river! Cross the river! How could you abandon your wives and children, your servants and your flocks? How could you intend to save only yourself? Live with them and die with them. Go, go, cross the river!” But Jacob resisted, “No, I can’t. I don’t want to die.” “Go.” “I can’t” They fought against each other. The man hit Jacob’s right side. Instinctively, Jacob dodged the blow. Then the man pushed him. But Jacob resisted him. Jacob fought him with a life and death struggle until daybreak. The man thought, “Wow! This fellow is really strong.” He thought that he would easily win over Jacob. But Jacob had never been defeated. When the man saw that he could not overpower Jacob, he hit Jacob on a fatal spot, the socket of his hip. Jacob could not sustain his body any more but was knocked down, screaming, “Aigo!” Jacob became crippled. If we do not obey God, if we continue to insist our own life styles, there will be the moment God hits the socket of our hip, the hip of family, the hip of money, the hip of health and the hip of career.
There was a fire on a farmer’s house. The farmer quickly went to the stable and tried to draw the ox out but it resisted because of fear of fire. The farmer knew what to do. He quickly overturned the manger of ox. When the ox saw it, it followed the farmer without resistance. The ox must have thought, “Oh my goodness, the manger is overturned, then this is not my home.” In a sense, man is like an ox. God says, “come and follow me!” But we resist it and insist our own way. Out of love and grace God hits his people with failure, disease or financial difficulty. Then they finally surrender and come back to God. This is sad reality. We humans are such stubborn.
Look at verse 29. Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.” Did the man say his name? No. He said, “Why do you ask my name?” What does it mean? “You know my name, then why are you asking it?”
Surely Jacob knew God. From his birth, he learned about God and His work from his mother. He learned about the godly life. He experienced God through a vision of stairway in Bethel. He experienced God’s hand during 20 years’ life in Paddan Aram. He knew God. But he had lived like he did not know God. He did not build an altar to God. He did not pray to God. He did not act like a believer. As he lived such a life, he must have had some kind of fear, “One day, I would be hit critically by God. One day, there would be punishment.” And at the Jabbok River, the day when he was hit in the vitals and knocked down, a word burst out from his mouth, “Oh my goodness, I am done.” This is very critical moment. His strong ego, ambition, success-oriented life style was thoroughly smashed. But this was a process for him to find his true self.
Third, Jacob trusted in God.
Jacob did not remain in despair. He moved forward. To where or whom? To God. We should realize that we need God, the Creator. ‘I,’ ‘my material, strong ego, plan, habit, life style’ are not the object of trust. Instead, we should trust in God. After Jacob was knocked down, what did he do? Look at verse 26. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me?” According to Hosea 12:4, Jacob wept and begged for blessing. Why did he ask God’s blessing when he had already received all the blessings? So far he had pursued honor, love and money. He had won all of them and he should have been happy. But possessions do not solve man’s fundamental problems, such as the problems of inner sin or death or fear, anxiety or emptiness. Jacob came to realize finally. His attention shifted from possessions to inward things. His prayer was a tearful request for the Lord’s mercy and grace. He asked God for another kind of blessing that is forgiveness, salvation and peace of soul.
Do you know that we need God’s blessing, not worldly blessing? Worldly blessing is like wind that can disappear any time. Worldly blessing cannot save man from the power of sin, death and eternal judgment. Jacob did not know it. So he just worked hard to obtain worldly blessing; honor, love and wealth. God came to him at that night and struggled with him to realize it and repent his wrong life goal. In fact, Jacob wasted the precious time given to him. He only used his time for himself at his home. In the foreign land, he worked hard to gain woman’s love and money. Look at his life. What did he do? He seemed to gain a lot but only lived a mundane life without God’s purpose and mission. This is his sin. Outwardly Jacob’s problem seemed his brother, Esau. But his real problem was his sin. But he had not repented his sin; sin of deceiving life, selfish life and missionless life. But at that night, God came to him and struggled with him. Finally, Jacob realized that he needed the blessing of God and that was salvation and peace in his soul.
Then God challenged him, “What is your name?” By asking his name God was helping Jacob to find who he was before God. He was helping him to find his true identity.
Jacob answered, “Jacob.” Jacob means ‘grasping,’ or ‘lying.’ He had struggled to grasp honor, romance and wealth. For this, he never hesitated to deceive others. In the course of doing this he hurt many people. Jacob realized that he was a terrible sinner before God and confessed, “Jacob.”
What is your name? “Lord, my name is selfishness, jealousy, lust.” God does not condemn us. Instead, he changes us. Then God said, “You name will no longer be Jacob but Israel.” Israel means ‘he struggles with God’ or ‘God rules.’ You have struggled with others to obtain success. You have won. But from now on, you are Israel. You must lose.
Life is a war or battle. Everyone wants to win. However, when you lose, you win. When you are defeated by God, you win. When your strong ego, false ego, human-centered ego and missionless ego are smashed, you win and receive the blessing of God. If you win over God, you will remain as Jacob. When you lose, you will become Israel. If you surrender to God’s will, you will become Israel and God will bless you as a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. When Jacob was lost, he experienced change.
God wants to change us. We struggle daily, sometimes with big one and sometimes with small one. I do not like go to church, but God says, ‘Go!” I struggle, “Should I go or not?” God says, “Give an offering and tithe.” But I struggle, “Should I offer a tithe or not?” God says, “Go to Friday prayer meeting.” Then I struggle, “Should I go or not?” God says, “Go out and do fishing and preach the gospel.” But I struggle, “Should I go out or not?” We struggle daily. But, you must lose in your struggle. If you win over God, you will lose everything and eternal reward. On the other hand, if you lose, you will gain the blessing of God and eternal reward. Surrender to God. Then God will change you from Jacob to Israel.
Verse 31 says, “The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel. And he was limping because of his hip.” The sun rose above his life. He had been in deep fear, distress and darkness. He had been in deep fear, guilt and anxiety for the last 20 years. Now he became disabled. He could not run away anymore. However, he became to entrust his whole life to the hand of God. He trusted in God. Then the sun rose above him. He was full of light-peace, joy and comfort. Then he crossed the river. He decided to be with his family, his people and his flocks though he might lose his life by Esau. He became caring and responsible. He experienced change. He wholeheartedly relied on God and moved forward by faith. Then what happened? We are not sure Esau’s intension but we know his character. He was a skillful hunter with animal like nature. We could guess that he would have intended to revenge him. But he saw Jacob limping with unkempt hairs and ripped clothes. I guess he must have been sympathized with him. Look at verse 4. When Jacob was changed, Esau was changed, too. Instead of revenging Jacob, Esau accepted Jacob with brotherly love. His revengeful heart might have been melted like snow. 20 years’ grudge was melted like snow. This is the work of God. When Jacob was changed from Jacob to Israel, his hostile brother was also changed. When Jacob was changed, God used him to change Esau, an ungodly man.
Man cannot change others. Man cannot change himself or herself. But if I am changed, God blesses me and uses me for his eternal purpose that is saving souls.
Everyone has their Jabbok River. We become alone, lonely, fearful, distressed and sad. Your current school study or future job security can be your Jabbok River. Your health condition can be. Your marriage can be. Your financial problem can be. You sinful habit can be. Now you should cross the River. However, you must know that you must first be broken by God. It is God who can make you cross the River. You must first be changed from Jacob to Israel. Then the sun will rise above you.
Don’t try to win over God. Don’t try to persuade God. You and I are just his creatures. He gave us life, time, talents and material. He gave us life purpose and mission. Now we are to follow his will for his glory. If we resist God’s will and insist our own will, we will live as Jacob, a liar and we will suffer until we leave this world. When we were born, we were all Jacobs. We make plan for ourselves. We put a mask and deceive others for our own benefit. But we suffer. But some experience change and become Israel as they surrender to God. However, some remain as Jacob and cannot overcome fear, worry and anxiety. I pray for you and myself that we may surrender to God and become Israel.